Serial Masturbator Concerned About Possible New Policy

Recent statements by legislators in both Canada and the United Kingdom has serial masturbators feeling nervous.  The statements, made by Prime Minister David Cameron in the UK and MP Joy Smith in Canada, called for internet service providers to limit access to web sites of a pornographic nature to their clients and suggested that people “opt-in” to receive such material.

Mark Longbottom, a masturbator from Bury in England, was made very nervous by the news.  “This makes me very nervous.” Mark said to us.  “I mean, would there be a way to pre-emptively opt in?”  Mark’s largest concern is that of a disruption in service, which may lead to significantly lower masturbation sessions than his usual 6 per day.  “I have some videos on my computer, and some DVDs I could watch in between, but that stuff gets old kinda fast.  I need the variety the internet provides.”

John Johnson from Calgary Alberta had similar concerns.  “I get my internet through Shaw Cable here, they do my TV too.  So I have to hope that it’s something that could be done over the phone.  What if I have to make an appointment to have a guy come round to plug something in?  That could take days.”

An immediate backlash against the politicians by masturbators and non-masturbators alike has caused them to back pedal on this issue, but censorship of the internet remains a sticky subject for people like Mark and John.

 

For More on this issue, see below

CBC: Canadians Should Have To ‘Opt In’ To Internet Porn

BBC: Online Pornography Should Be Blocked By Default

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