Local man George Bobitus caused a stranger to laugh so hard that they temporarily lost control of their bodily functions early this afternoon, causing the stranger to have to change their trousers.
George, who is well known for being one of, if not the, funniest people in the province was reportedly pleased that he had managed to bring some joy, if somewhat shortlived, into the life of a complete stranger.
George was walking along Stephen Avenue between 1st and 2nd street west in Calgary somewhere around 12:15 when he saw a man walking roughly in his direction holding a McDonald’s bag and drinking from a medium pop, presumably a Coca-Cola product. George quickly realized that the he and the man, both of whom had never met before, nor had any mutual acquaintances, would walk past each other within 3 feet, well within mutual earshot of the other.
Thinking quickly, George prepared himself for what would easily be considered the most ass-explodingly funny thing the stranger would hear in his entire life, bar none. George realized that he would actually have to start talking while the stranger was several feet out, both to get his attention, and so that he would have time to finish one of the funniest jokes known to both man or God.
“Hey. What did you get me for lunch?” George reportedly said.
The stranger was completely dumbfounded, and asked for George’s pardon.
“What did you get me for lunch?” George asked again, indicating the bag.
A mixture of emotions flashed across the strangers face. Confusion, embarrassment and finally recognition that George was both telling a joke, and that he was now in the presence of the funniest person in the long, long history of planet Earth. The stranger then began to laugh. Slowly, his laugh picked up momentum and became an out of control juggernaut of joy. The stranger stumbled over to a nearby bench, and put his bag down upon it so he could hold his sides, which were beginning to ache from having so much hilarity focused upon him.
Sadly, shortly after reaching the bench and as a result of bending over with laughter, the man’s bowels relaxed and vented their contents into his trousers.
The stranger, who is refusing to give his name, told us that he has never heard of something like that joke before, and that George is a comedian who has definitely mastered his craft.
“I’ve told that joke, well, a lot of times.” George told us. “I’ve never seen someone react so strongly to it, it was quite heart-warming. Until the poop, anyway. I mean, most people just give me a weak smile, and one guy just laughed very loudly and very sarcastically into my face. But this guy seemed genuine. I’ve offered to pay for a new pair of trousers and socks.”
George is currently a middle manager at a nearby firm, but is expecting calls from production companies about his new career as a comedy writer for late night talk shows or sitcoms.