Interview Series: Exclusive Interview With A Ghost

Blaze Newsguy recently had an opportunity to interview a ghost.  Naturally, he seized the opportunity.

So, you’re a ghost.  I have so many questions.  What do I call you?  How long have you been a ghost?  What’s it like?

You can just call me Fred.  Fred’s fine.  The last year I remember was 1894, what year is it now?

It’s 2014.

Oh wow, so that’s like 120 years or something.  But it’s quite hard to describe what it’s like to be a ghost.  You’re in a sort of half-existence really.  Half aware of what’s going on, half in a daze.  There’s a longing to go somewhere else, but you don’t really know where to go or how to get there.  You feel like there’s something you need to do, but you don’t remember what it is.

It sounds like a weekend I had in Moose Jaw once.

Oh, that’s it exactly.  That’s the perfect way to describe being a ghost.  Being a ghost is like being in Moose Jaw.

So what have you been doing since you… died?

I’ve mostly been haunting my old house.  It’s a charming little place.  Or it was, anyway.  I can’t be sure, as it’s in the haze, but it looks like it may have been torn down and rebuilt into a bigger place since I died.  I think.  I’m pretty sure I’ve haunted an upstairs, and I didn’t have one of those in my place.

Oh, so you aren’t confined to roam the areas you once did but can manifest in the physical plane as it currently exists?

(pause) Sure.

Do you recall how you died?

Not exactly.  It’s like trying to remember falling asleep.

Did you die in your sleep?

I don’t think so.  Last thing I remember…  we’d just had a new gas fire installed in the house.  My wife and son we’re out and I was going to surprise them by having the fire working when they got back.  I was having trouble with the matches.  Thinking about it now, I guess one finally lit.  That would explain the smell of burnt hair that’s been bugging me.

So, why did you request this interview?

Honestly, I think it’s because I’ve been working through some things, unresolved issues, and I wanted to share my experience.

Were these issues holding you back from moving on?  Is there a place to move on to?

Well, as I mentioned, there’s always been a sense of needing to move on, but something was holding me back.  So yes, I definitely think these issues were holding me back.

I just thought that was a set up for a Moose Jaw joke, but ok.  So what were these issues?  

For the longest time, I had thought that I’d left my wife and son in ruins when I had died.  Obviously, no more bread winner in the house.  And, now that we’ve mentioned the gas fire, there may not have actually been a house.  Thinking that I had left my loved ones in such dire conditions, well, that was a huge burden to have.

Did you realize that they would have passed on long ago and that whatever had happened couldn’t be fixed?

Partially.  I also remembered that we had a massive insurance policy on the house and my life.  And also, I was loaded.  I owned banks.  Plural.  With gold bullion in them.  So yeah, they would have been fine.  The will was very clear.

I see.  So what lead you to this realization.

I just sort of remembered it.

Yes, but after close to 120 years, was there a specific trigger?

Um.

What was it?

Look, I don’t really want to say.

I really think it would interest our readers.

I really don’t think they want to know.

Please.

Fine.  Recently, a new family moved into the house.  A lovely couple, Fred and Janine.

Was Janine your wife’s name?

I see where you’re going, but no.  They have a son.

Right, I see.

No.  You don’t.  He’s twelve years old.

Ok?

And he does what 12 year old boys do.

Oh.

All the time.

Right.

Like non-stop.

I understand now.

It would get seriously creepy.  I’d go into a room to haunt it for a bit, and he’d be there.

You can stop anytime now.

Like it owed him money.  Every bloody room I went in.

So changing the topic completely.  What’s next for you?

Not sure really.  Has that doorway always been lit up like that?

Which doorway?

The one over there.  There’s just this beautiful white light coming from it.  I can’t see anything on the other side.  I’ll see what’s in there.

Best of luck to you, Fred.

And to you Blaze.  Particularly next Thursday at 2:46.

Thanks.  Wait, what?

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