Our management loves it when we come up with new content. So, in the interest of filling a quota, here are ten things you probably knew all ready, but which we’re going to pretend you didn’t.
1) Jennifer Aniston was in Friends.
Friends was a sitcom on NBC which ran from 1994 to 2004. It centered around a group of six people in New York City who were, as the title suggests, “friends”. Jennifer Aniston was cast as one of the female “friends”.
2) Explosive diarrhea is not actually an explosion
Despite its name, explosive diarrhea does not actually include an explosion, despite the release of methane, a flammable gas, during the event.
3) The moon is not a circle
As Earth’s primary satellite, the moon often appears circular in shape. However, it is not. Circles are two dimensional representations, in actuality, the moon is closer to a circle’s three dimensional equivalent, a sphere.
4) The Phantom Menace is NOT the worst Star Wars film
Episode Two: Attack of the Clones is a far worse film. Does Phantom Menace have a monologue about sand? Case closed.
5) Elephants are big
An elephant is a huge motherfucker. They’re seriously big and heavy. For reals.
6) Dogs are better than cats
Science has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that cats suck*.
7) Anthropogenic Climate Change
Yep, it’s a fact. Correlation vs Causation? If you snap your fingers once and the lights go out, that’s correlation. If you snap them over 1,000,000 times and every time you snap them the lights go on or off then you’re a wizard and stop messing with the lights.
* A special thanks to my sister’s dog, who contributed to one of the entries on this list.