Calgary Introduces Revolutionary New “Moated” Community

Developers of one of Calgary’s newest communities received permission to go ahead with the latest level in gated communities.  The ‘Moated’ community will be situated on a man made island in a man made lake in the Mahogany development in the Stoney Trail/52nd Ave SE area.

“This development is for Calgary’s uber-rich, and frankly, they need more than just a gate to separate them from the rabble.  No offence.”  The developer told us.

“That’s why they need a moat, and, although the model doesn’t show it yet, the bridge is actually a drawbridge, so that the residents of the island can feel secure and safe in the event that the serfs revolt.  In the event of such a revolt, there are canisters of oil, 100% Albertan oil, situated under the island at strategic points.  These canisters would release and then the water surrounding the mansions can be set aflame, to keep the unwashed on the side they belong.  There will also be a helipad so that supplies for the residents can be airlifted in.  They also have their own water purification system, so that they’re not drinking the same water the plebeians drink.”

“All in all, this community has it all for the crème of Calgary society.”

“There will also be catapults, for flinging their garbage into the nearby non-super rich developments.  That’s in phase 2 though.  So hopefully there’s no revolt until those are installed.”

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