Local Paul Gugenheld has two main loves in his life. The first, his wife Susan of 13 years. The second, the eighties television show Airwolf about a technologically advanced helicopter and the secret missions it would undertake. It is the latter that has caused the most recent frustration in his life.
“It physically hurts me. I feel actual pain over this.” He told us, clenching a fist to his heart.
“He does.” His wife confirmed. “He really does. It’s so damn weird. I mean, I support him, but wow.”
“I mean, Airwolf was such a brilliant show. Four years of solid gold tv.” Paul continued. “A-team? Fuck the A-Team.” Paul said, knowing he could never take that back. “And Knight Rider? Don’t make me laugh.” Paul continued, seemingly trying to be offensive now.
At this point, Paul slumped forward, defeated. “I’ve just been working on my fan fiction for so long. Taking Airwolf through the collapse of the Soviet Union, through the Clinton era, and into the war on terror. Did you know that it was Sinjin’s son flying Airwolf that flew the Seals in to kill Bin Laden? Or that Sinjin and Stringfellow teamed up and were instrumental in the events leading to the Berlin Wall coming down? Cos they were.”
“And yet. And yet no one is reading them.”
“WHY!?” Paul yelled, falling to his knees and crying to the heavens.
“Would you like more tea?” Susan reportedly then asked us.