Guy Who’s “Totally Not Racist, You Guys” Has An Opinion On Fantastic Four Cast

A local man, who has asked that we withhold his identity, and who is also, by his own admission, “as far from racist as you can get”, voiced a strong opinion on the casting of Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm in the upcoming Fantastic Four film, imaginatively titled The Fantastic Four.

The opinion, which caused everyone within earshot to cringe a little and re-evaluate their friendship, was reportedly significantly less “not racist” than the commenter believed.

“Wow” said one onlooker.  “That was really fucking racist.  I mean, you kind of expect something racist when someone says ‘I’m not racist, but…’ but wow.  That’s a whole new level.  Usually, it’s something like they’ll use the wrong word, or there’ll be something about a stereotype.  But that guy.  Seriously, fuck that guy.  Although, definitely not literally.  He should never breed.”

“I just feel.” The commenter said. “And I’m not a racist, you guys know that.  But I just feel that the racial purity of the Fantastic Four must not be diluted.  I mean, didn’t people fight a war over this.”

Sealion News’ research division has indeed verified his comments, and has discovered that it was, in fact, the Nazi’s in World War 2 that fought for that sentiment.  We have also confirmed that they were ‘the bad guys’.


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