Sean Penn’s Comedy Career Fails To Take Off

Last night at the 87th Academy Awards, actor and activist Sean Penn attempted to add a third descriptor to his name by launching his comedy career while announcing the Best Picture category.

The joke, which internet commentators immediately took umbrage with, concerned the legal status of Birdman director Alejandro González Iñárritu.

“I can see why people got upset over that, looking back in hindsight.  But, I have to say that it’s better than the yo mama joke I had planned for if Selma had won.  Or the robot voice if Theory Of Everything had won.  So yeah, this was probably the best possible outcome as those were way worse jokes.”

“Hindsight is definitely 20/20 on this one.  The Imitation Game impression I was going to do would definitely have gone down badly.  I’m not sure if it would have worked too well either.  It was basically a stereotypical gay man voice.  Boyhood was the only one I didn’t have a joke for, but that really didn’t stand much chance anyway.”

Elsewhere at the ceremony, John Travolta succeeded in making a lot of people uncomfortable with his awkward kiss with Scarlett Johansson, and his face touching of Idina Menzel.

“I should really stop coming to these things high.” Mr Travolta told us. “The tradition of pre-partying with Snoop is probably going to have to end.  I mean, do you remember the other year when I couldn’t even pronounce that woman’s name when she won?  Man.  I hope I don’t run into her again.  That would just be super fucking awkward.  Ingrid?  Something like that.  Anyway.  Cruise and Alley are beckoning me over to do some shots.  Gotta go.”

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