Local man James St James decided at 1:15 this afternoon that he would forever swear off all meat and become a vegan for the rest of his life.
“What I had for lunch today was, without a doubt, the most delicious meal I have ever had. The steak was cooked absolutely perfectly. It was juicy, and so tender. I could practically cut it with my fork. The potato and vegetables were pretty good too. But that steak. Oh wow.”
“Basically, there is no way I will ever eat another cut of beef or meat as delicious as that steak ever again. It was a once in a lifetime steak. Any other steak I would have, would pale in comparison. This is the peak, it’s all downhill from here.” He added.
“And so, with that in mind, I may as well completely stop eating meat. If continuing to eat meat is going to mean that I’ll just be a miserable git, then I may as well choose to be a miserable git and become a vegan. That way it’s my choice.”
“I dunno. Maybe in ten or fifteen years I’ll reconsider and get some, but by then I may have just overhyped this last one in my mind so much that nothing could be as good. OR maybe I’ll just get a bacon wrapped steak and that will be good enough. Like I said, I dunno.”