Contrarian Researching Ways To Shit On Age Of Ultron

Local nerd and frequent contrarian Miles Malone told SLN this morning that he is already looking for ways that the new Avengers movie, Age Of Ultron, will be awful and justifies being routinely trashed on the internet.

“I’ve already read the graphic novel that it is loosely based on several times, so I’ll have a firm grasp of the many ways the story is different, and therefore awful.”

Miles really found his ability for intensely disliking movies other people enjoyed during 2012’s Dark Knight Rises.  “Most people left the theatre pretty happy about that movie, but not me.  I was shitting on it right away.”

“It’s a shame I was too young to really get into it when Phantom Menace came out.  But I was only six, so I wouldn’t even have really had the vocabulary to effectively destroy the movie.  Not Age Of Ultron though.  I’m going to be shitting on that one right out of the gate.”

“There’s no way I won’t find something to be disappointed about.  I’ve spent months doing this.  From the hinges Tony’s Hulkbuster armor, to a slightly different setting, I will scour this film for something to displease me.”

Avengers: Age of Ultron opens in North America on May 1st.


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