Baby Starting To Feel Mocked

(Medicine Hat) -Albert “Widdle Man” Jones, a local baby, told SLN this morning that while he did appreciate all the attention he gets he is starting to think that people have actually been mocking him this entire time.

“I don’t know.  It just feels like they’re flaunting their superior motor controls at me.  Like the other day, this old woman, she must’ve been at least thirty, comes up to me as The Milk is pushing me around town.  She leans right over my seat and just starts moving all of her fingers independently at me.  Her arms moved in different directions, with precision, her head bobbed from side to side, but with control.  Now, granted, I got a tickle out of it, but it felt like pity, you know?  And what did I do in reply?  Just that flailing and kicking thing I can do.  Don’t get me wrong, I nail that shit, but it’s all I can do.”

“But it’s not just old women, like the one I mentioned, old men do it too.  Not to the extent that the women do, but there’s still some mocking there.  Like I was out with the Other One some time last week, I don’t know where we were.  There was a lot of orange, and oh, so many things I could have played with.  But we’re standing in some kind of line while the Other One buys something, and I’m just looking at the guy in line behind us.  He notices me staring and just lowers and raises his head at me in some kind of nod.  Bloody show off.  But I showed him.  I shit myself and started crying.”


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