(Calgary, AB) –Friends of resident Neil Copper have described to SLN that his most recent venture in the world of health and fitness has reached an annoying level.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for him that he’s exercising now, and eating healthy. It’s great, and he’s done wonders for him. He’s lost a lot of weight, and he’s more confident now. It’s just. He’s become kind of obnoxious now.” A friend told us.
“Yes.” Another friend continued. “We went out to the bar the other night. It was Friday, we were out to have some fun. Fucking guy drinks water all night. Not even juice, because of the fructose. Then I got an earful about how bad everything was for me that I was drinking. After we left the bar, I put him in a cab and went and got the pizza by myself. Git.”
“A few weeks ago, we were out at brunch, and the waitress asked what kind of toast I’d like. I said white, and he made a kind of hissing noise. I didn’t get a lecture then, so I guess he’s gotten worse since then.”
“You know what he does right before the meal comes, right?”
“Doesn’t he wash his hands? That’s not weird.”
“No. He doesn’t. Well, ok, he might. But the reason he goes to the bathroom is to get in about a minute of squats in the stall. He does it right afterward too.”
“Oh my god. He’s so weird.”
“Yeah, he suggested I do it once. I just looked at him, and he hasn’t suggested it since.”
“Ha! Still, it’s good for him that he’s doing this.”
“Yes. It’s good for him. Still.”