Man Decides Tim Horton’s Has Been Punished Enough

(Calgary, AB) –John Backlash decided to end his protest of coffee shop chain Tim Horton’s this morning, citing reasons that it had been “punished enough” for its decision to stop advertising for Enbridge Energy.

“Well, I was mad as hell that the damned hippies used their free speech to make the free market respond in a way I disagreed with, so I then used my wallet to protest that decision.  Why I haven’t had a double double from there in, ooh, must be a week now.  But now that they haven’t received my $12 for the last week, I think they’ve learned their lesson.”

Asked for comment, a spokesperson for the chain told us “We’ve really missed Jack, and we welcome him and his $12 per week back into the fold.  We’ve learned the lesson of this situation, namely to never listen to our customers, as they’re bat-shit insane.”

“Seriously, they get mad when you put advertising up, and they get mad when you take it down.  Fuck those guys.”


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