(Toronto, ON) –Upon receiving the application for Ben Smith’s new credit card, company vice president Luke Knight began to rub his hands together gleefully and laughed maniacally for several minutes.
“Excellent,” Mr Knight said, steepling his fingers and leaning back in his oversized office chair. “Another fool believes that our reward based card is actually a good investment.”
“He probably thinks that he could actually benefit from this arrangement, where all he will ever do is lose. Enjoy your twenty percent interest rate, Mr. Smith. Oh sure, we’ll give you the option to get $30 cash back at the end of the year, right before you pay us another $100 for your annual fee, along with all that wonderful interest.”
“Here’s your shiny turd, Mr Smith.” Knight said, stamping ‘APPROVED’ in red ink across the application.
Mr Knight then resumed laughing maniacally, before going for a lay down for half an hour before lunch.