(Pyongyang, North Korea) –Hipsters and teenagers in North Korea were sent into a downward spiral this week with the announcement that the government had banned access to social media site Instagram.
“We don’t think we need to be encouraging that sort of behaviour.” A government spokesperson told us. “We think that taking pictures of your meals and sharing them is really kind of stupid, and we want it to stop. However, we do think that everyone should use Snapchat, which is a far better venue for sending pictures of genitals around as they are quickly deleted. That’s a behaviour that we’re told we do want to encourage. Kim really likes sending people pictures of his junk.”
“Seriously, I got one right before this interview.”
Local teenage girls were not happy with this development. “This sucks. How will I take a selfie with a duck face now? What’s the point if it deletes that quickly?”