(Calgary, AB) –Readers, it’s July 3rd and the 103rd Calgary Stampede has begun, marking ten days of cowboy cosplayers roaming the streets and horses shitting on same. By far the most entertaining part of this week, is when you walk into a McDonalds and find only one cosplayer in his gear, standing out like a guy in a wizard costume would any other week of the year.
You see. Cosplaying as a cowboy during stampede is a lot like wearing helmets on a ski hill. When everyone else is wearing a helmet, you’re good. If no one else is wearing a helmet, well then you’re just a guy walking around in public with a helmet on.
So readers, if you’re here this week. Be nice to the only guy in the store wearing boots, jeans, a heavy cotton shirt, and of course, a hat. It’s over 30 degrees out, so he’s already having a shitty day.
Which brings us to the horses, and how they don’t wear diapers. Folks, I used to live on 10th avenue, and every morning there would be these horses standing around outside the building, shitting all over the road. This is not a problem that most modern cities deal with. Even in New York, which still has a mounted police division, they don’t let their horses shit all over the place and send a road sweeper around later.
And with all the drunk people around, that’s a hazard.
Right now you’re thinking “But you said the horses were there in the morning.”
That’s right folks, there’s lots of drunk people in the morning too.
Stampede is a hell of a time.