Party Almost Held Out Of Spite

What party idea doesn’t start with a maniacal laugh?


(Calgary, AB) –Readers, you probably already know that I don’t like the heat.  Or too much cold.  I pretty much just like it at a normal temperature all the time.  Last week, it was a hot one, frequently in the thirties.  It was too damn hot to do anything, and we don’t have AC.

Lots of our friends though, oh they have AC.

So I asked the wife, why don’t we throw a party here?  We’ll make all our friends who have AC come round to our place and sit in the blast furnace that is our house.

Well, she thought about it for a little bit, probably for longer than she’d admit to, but she eventually decided that she still liked our friends, so we didn’t do it.

Which brings us to the lesson here, folks.  Don’t tell your wife that it’s a spite party until she’s already said yes.

But there’s something else I want to talk about here.  I don’t like hot weather, and I don’t like cold weather.  Now, being in Calgary, we do get some cold weather, but it’s only the stuff below -25 that’s really nasty.  I never thought I’d say this, but -10, that’s really not so bad.  It’s almost shorts weather.  It’s definitely weather to reconsider zipping up your coat in.

So when we have a mild winter, I like that.  I hate the snow part, but the temperature is ok.  This does not then mean, that when we have a Satan’s ball sweatingly hot summer that I should be ok with it.  No.  That’s not how it works.  I get to complain about the heat too, because it’s too fucking hot.  Don’t give me that ‘dry heat’ bullshit either.   It’s too damn hot, and you know it.  I’m just not being delusional about it.

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