Behold Your New God!

(Outer Space) –Readers, a few months ago, the ESA landed on a comet.  You probably heard about that.

But a few days ago, they reported that they have now found complex organic molecules on the comet, suggesting that comets help assemble the very building blocks of life.

“We were quite surprised by this.  As scientists, we tend to favour logic and reason, but the evidence is clear.  There is a God, and it’s a flying ice rock of death.  We’re working on building a shrine at the office to it, and trying to determine what kind of animal sacrifice would be appropriate.”  One researcher told us.

“Jim is in charge of interpreting what Philae wants of us.  He’s been going over the electromagnetic noise it generates, trying to find patterns.  So far, it’s had some pretty strong opinions on marriage.  Which is a little odd for a comet, but not so odd for a God.”

“It’s also saying we need to stop eating pork products and crustaceans.  Which is bad news for me as I was going to Red Lobster for lunch.  Their bacon wrapped shrimp is amazing.”

“It did also say it’s rescinding the mixed fabric thing, so polyester leisure suits will probably be coming back into style.  That’s what drove them out of fashion in the first place, right?”

Your New God
Your New God

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New York Times



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