Harper Doubles Down On Travel Ban

(Ottawa, ON) –Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced that his government would restrict travel to even more locations this morning, essentially doubling down on his promise to stop “terror tourism”.

“We also do not agree with the concept of ‘slum tourism’, wherein someone would travel to a place that isn’t as good as where they came from in order to feel better about themselves.  That’s just a terrible thing, and not something we think that is a small government’s job of allowing.”

“Obviously though, the government’s stance is that Canada is the best country in the world, thus making any vacation out of the country, ‘slum tourism’.  The beaches of the Caribbean?  Slums compared to the beaches on the great lakes.  The infamous nude beaches of Europe?  Slums compared to Vancouver’s Wreck Beach.”

“Frankly, we think that this country is so great, that we don’t know why people would ever want to leave it, or to visit anywhere other than other places in it.  Take a Via Rail train across it, or fly over it in one of Canada’s airline company’s planes.  That is why, if elected, we’ll be cancelling everyone’s passports.”

“Freedom of travel and movement is a foundation principal of a strong democracy, and that’s something that the modern Conservative Party just will not stand for.

Asked for comment on his party’s stance, Liberal Party Leader Justin Trudeau said “Yes, the Liberal Party does also have opinions on that issue.  That’s a great question.  Thank you very much.”

 

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Global News

CBC News

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