Check Stop Makes Man Awkward, Cop Suspicious

(Calgary, AB) –A local socially awkward man had a bad time at a drink driving check stop Saturday night, when his nervous and confused answers to simple questions drew suspicion from the attending officers.

“Oh god, why me?” the man asked himself as he approached the checkpoint and was waved to the inspection area.

The situation reportedly got much worse after he answered that he had been drinking that night, and had had about 6 drinks.

After being asked to step out of the car and subsequently passing both a breathalyser and a field sobriety test, the man then answered the officers confusion by clarifying that they had only been diet cokes, and had contained no alcohol.

While driving away, the man suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to mention the glass of apple juice he had drank with dinner some six hours prior, as well as the ginger ale he had drank before leaving the bar.  He then contemplated driving back around and return to the check point, where he could give a more accurate description of the night’s drinking.

“I hate socially awkward people.” The officer told us.  “They completely muck things up by looking all shifty and nervous like they’re trying to hide something.”  He said, watching the driver pull away.  “I’ll bet you five bucks that guy has just remembered another sodding soft drink and is thinking about coming back.  I’ve had 3 other people already just do that.”

“They’re worse to deal with than the actual drunk drivers.”

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