Criminals Really Over Thinking Upcoming Heist

(Boise, ID) –A roving group of criminal masterminds has arrived in Boise, Idaho, and, according to one member of the team, may be really over thinking how elaborate their next heist needs to be.

“One of the young guys on our crew was wanting to take the lead on this one, so we figured, why not?  It should be an easy take, why not let him take over from our usual planner and get his feet wet, you know?”  One of the driver’s told us.

“Some of us are starting to regret it though, and we’re trying to find a way to get him to reign himself in a little bit.  This thing is already way more complex than it needs to be.”

Asked for comment, the mastermind had another opinion.

“Sure, it’s just a liquor store, and it’s already been robbed 5 times since we’ve been watching it, but that’s no reason not to do it properly.  Which is why we put Jules in the apartment upstairs to drill some camera holes and get us eyes in there.”

“Tommy Tunnel will be in the, well, he’ll be tunneling up into the basement from the sewer, that’ll give us access to the area directly beneath the safe.  Chuck will wire the basement ceiling with explosives to drop the safe into the basement, and then Suzy will crack it if needed.  She may not have to though, as the owner seems to keep the safe open for most of the day.”

“Rocky and Bruno will keep the owner distracted in the shop, and then also rob the till when he goes to see what happened to the safe.  Hydraulic rams will seal up the hole in the floor with a steel plate and keep the basement entrances locked.”

“The basement team will then escape back through the sewers with the money on jet skis.  Rocky and Bruno will exit via the shop and pretend to hijack Jules’ car and meet us at the rendezvous point.”

“All told, we should pull in about $5,000 on this job.  Before expenses.”

As of press time, Johnny, the mastermind, had hired an expert to recreate the liquor store in an elaborate 3D model.


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