4 Things You Didn’t Know About Baking

  • The first baker was almost institutionalized when he declared he would grind up some of the tops of the stalks in a nearby field, mix it with the white things that come out of a chickens bottom and the fluid secreted by pulling on a cow’s udders, and then cook the resulting concoction over a fire for about half an hour.
  • Banking and finance spun out of the baking industry when a baker realized that he could get people to pre-pay for his loaves of bread. The baker also invented bank charges by cutting off a slice of the bread before giving it to his customer.
  • The use of raisins in place of chocolate chips has, to date, caused four wars when raisin cookies were part of a diplomatic gift. These wars include the cave 3 and cave 4 debacle of 5,962 BC, the Peloponnesian war, the Hundred Years’ war, and the American Civil War.  Demonstrating that humanity never learns from its past mistakes and continues to put raisins in cookies.
  • Unbeknownst to the general public, the Vietnam War was actually settled with a bake off between Richard Nixon and Lê Duẩn. Nixon’s soufflé failed to rise, resulting in a withdrawal of American troops.
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